[Alexa]

  A man and an alligator walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Whoa man, you can't have an alligator in here!!!" The man replies, "Don't worry, its a trained alligator." Bartender, "I don't care if its trained or not, you can't have an alligator in a bar, man!" Man, "Alright, check this out." The man then opens the alligator's mouth, places his arm in the alligators mouth, closes it, then grabs a stick and starts bashing the alligator over the head. After a few whacks, the man calmly places down the stick, opens the alligators mouth, and pulls out his unharmed arm. "And anyone in the bar could do the same thing!" An old man in the back of the bar raises his hand and says, "Well, I'll give it a try, but I don't want you smacking me over the head with that stick!"
 

[SEO]

- Here. Why don't you get yourself something nice?

- This is... 5 dollars?!

- I said 'something nice', not 'something expensive'!

[MSL]

  A skeleton walks into a good bar. Sits down. Bartender comes up and asks the skeleton "What can I get for you?". Skeleton says "I'll take a beer and... a mop".
 

[Non-SEO]

 A boy: So, I was thinking maybe computers would be more stable, if they had a motherboard and a fatherboard.
 

[Dimitroff]

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 

[MSL]

"Has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet?"

"Has the large hadron collider destroyed the world yet?"
"Nope."

[SEO]

LOL!

And there is another joke of the day about a dog:


What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador.