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Normal Incels (Incels Without Hate) => A forum for incels who are normal people (no terrorists, no rapists, no racists, no pedophiles, no haters and so on) => Topic started by: Zhang Jie on December 16, 2022, 06:54:05 PM
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Being a controlled but obligatedly obedient 7 y.o poor boy I was sent into my primary school by my father, who was always boosting how good this school was even currently while in effect this school did not even have 'baike'(the wiki in China's Internet) and only very few photos of itself, which indicated it was totally an unfamous pit tank.
At the first two years when I was rotting away in that school, I was not suffering a lot because back then I did not suffer from implicit and explicit disrespects and even humiliations until I graduated into Grade 3, iirc, when my 'class teacher' changed and she was a stringent but also amiable woman. Maybe because of her, or maybe because of the progressively concrete effects of China's toxic culture '人上人'(the most superior human) or both, the atmosphere of my class was rendered into that as if it were the 'Shubara', where I started to be disrespeted and condescended upon, for my hand-writing was becoming more and more hard on eyes, my academic performances were too 'not good', my writings were too rhetoric, etc., but mostly for I only did few housework for my parents and they voluntarily do them routinely for me which became my biggest laughing stock.
I remember for once my class and the other class boomed badly on the Chinese's mid-exam or something, and the two class teachers conspired a finesse that could impel us to score higher:
All of the students were required to be seated in the other class, watching every student who failed on this exam retrieve their scored test papers and obliged to stand in the back of the classroom, and the teachers asked them to cry and not until did they cry out they werer not allowed to be seated. We were also stomping when they were retrieving their papers(One of the two teachers said, since applause was the award for high scorers, stomping was the punishment for low scores). Unfortunately because of lack of adequate sympathy I also partook in that nonhumanly brutal disencouraging co-punishment. I also remember back then a boy who was always thought of one of the bravest boys all over the world so that he never cried, poured down his tears as the response to the two teachers' obligation which became one of the most lingering anecdotes in my life. One of the teacher also laughted at a boy's bad Retroflex at 'shi'(He twisted his tongue too exggeratedly when he pronounced this sound) when he retrieved his paper while being asked to stand in front of that teacher.
I was also very timid during my primary school. I was afraid of swimming and the coach colloborated two other girls to pour the pool water onto my face, calling me 'a lame hydrophobia boy'.
My graduation word card was torn into fragments for four times(iirc) because of my bad handwriting, days before my graduation ceremony.
I think the reason why I am suffering from Depression is that primary school and if this did not contribute to my Depression 100%, I'd say at least 90%. I had a lot of traumatic experiences about that school but my English is too bad so I've already consumed a lot of energies and got exhausted so I don't want to write more.
Btw, I wrote this post to quasi-practice my English as the second purpose and if someone was glad to assess it bring it on! I will be grateful!
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'in my mind' instead of 'in my life'
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voluntarily 'did' them instead of 'do' them.
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Bro, surely you had some bad teachers there but seems that you had no bullies. I think you was lucky. In the Western schools there are many bullies who will steal or rob your money and you can't have breakfast, beat you and you are afraid to go to school again... and in the worst cases even harass you dirty like trying to imitate they rape you like pressing your head on their packs or using bottles to your butt... I think you will be gone insane if you was in a Western school.
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OMG😜😅 Brocel, my classmates tried to rape me with a hammer behind just because I had good marks and they were mad at me because their parents wanted them to be like me. Also another time one classmate nearly killed me and another from the same school was stabbed in the back with a knife. And all this when we lived in a secured communist country. Now when there are drugs and more weapons in the bad capitalist society more kids are losing their lives and health. Sorry to say that but if you were in some European or American school you were not going to survive more than a week or two. You're too sensitive and... not in a very good shape so lucky you were in China.👍
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Bro, surely you had some bad teachers there but seems that you had no bullies. I think you was lucky. In the Western schools there are many bullies who will steal or rob your money and you can't have breakfast, beat you and you are afraid to go to school again... and in the worst cases even harass you dirty like trying to imitate they rape you like pressing your head on their packs or using bottles to your butt... I think you will be gone insane if you was in a Western school.
I think you are referring to American schools or I am already deceived by the western propagandas?
Anyway I hope my post is comprehensable. This is one of my very few English writings.
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OMG😜😅 Brocel, my classmates tried to rape me with a hammer behind just because I had good marks and they were mad at me because their parents wanted them to be like me. Also another time one classmate nearly killed me and another from the same school was stabbed in the back with a knife. And all this when we lived in a secured communist country. Now when there are drugs and more weapons in the bad capitalist society more kids are losing their lives and health. Sorry to say that but if you were in some European or American school you were not going to survive more than a week or two. You're too sensitive and... not in a very good shape so lucky you were in China.👍
Okay, but if in your memorization your primary school experiences are basically negative, no matter how shitty westerns schools are, they will really debilitate you. I cannot use a time machine to trace back and be outstanding whatsoever, so I can only keep suffering from mental internal frictions.
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USA is probably dramatic country in terms of bullying, Poland has big problem with this too but there aren't many extreme cases fortunately, but bullying is almost everywhere in early schools, I was victim for a long time.
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USA is probably dramatic country in terms of bullying, Poland has big problem with this too but there aren't many extreme cases fortunately, but bullying is almost everywhere in early schools, I was victim for a long time.
Oh sorry to hear that I am having a great deal of sympathy for your experiences!
I think the education system and philosophy of west are better than those of E.Asia, since they were not used to filter out unqualified students. I love west education because it is really intended to cultivate students' thoughts, bodies, knowledges, personalities, etc.
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I am not sure if you really have got exactly the MDD. You know, self-diagnosis isn't always accurate. Even doctors may make wrong diagnosis. But, let's suppose, that you've got this or another kind of depression. What science says about it? Exact cause of these is often unknown and psychological trauma or stress are important factors in predisposed people.
As was noticed above, maybe your school had some impact on your psychological status (then and now) and/or maybe your overstrict mother caused this more or less but you're just born like this (sensitive and thinker type person, probably introverted to some degree) and then, the things is: if you're in a stressful conditions you'll be more depressed. You need harmony, safety and understanding, loving people around you -- then you'll be like a genius, maybe very creative. You're just a clever, intelligent, sensitive and fragile person, so you should avoid the hard conditions + you should train yourself to be as brave (strong, man up and "don't care") as possible.
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Bro, your English rocks 8) 8) , don't worry. I am not a native but I can feel it. And there is nothing that I can't understand except sometimes the high IQ words you use but it's my problem because I am not that smart as you are.
And you are so good at learning it (I meant the English language) so it's a matter of short time to improve it to the sky.
I think you are referring to American schools or I am already deceived by the western propagandas?
Nah, not exactly. I mean all of the Western ones. Even the Russian ones. Nothing about the Western propaganda. Check this out,
World
17 dead, 24 wounded in Russia school shooting by gunman with converted pistols and a shirt with "Nazi symbols" https://www.cbsnews.com/news/russia-school-shooting-gunman-converted-pistols-nazi-symbols-swastika-deaths-injuries/ (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/russia-school-shooting-gunman-converted-pistols-nazi-symbols-swastika-deaths-injuries/)
Or Moldova (you know that country, right?) https://childhub.org/en/child-protection-news/moldova-150-children-30-moldovan-schools-will-become-agents-change-combat (https://childhub.org/en/child-protection-news/moldova-150-children-30-moldovan-schools-will-become-agents-change-combat) 150 children, aged 12–17, from 30 communities in Moldova, learned how to prevent and combat violence in school and in their community this summer Guess why these children have to learn how to prevent and combat VIOLENCE in SCHOOL.
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You juse have to stop thinking about your past experience and think about your present development. Think after 10 years how more knowledgeable and how more strong you will be. This is a good goal.
I do the same -- everyday learning and sport, learning and sport. Even I am old, I do believe that it's better to become strongher and cleverer than to think about my past fails. Life is short, use it wise.
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Idk. But I have an idea. Sometimes I wonder how I can be so clever!? Really, so here is the answer:
if you still keep in touch with your classmates, who experienced all this sh*t, ask them are they having depressions, dark periods, cry and so on... if most of them are like you, okay, blame the school, but if only you, well you know.
It's like in the sport field with the fight sports: some guy can receive 20 punches in the head and he will be okay, another one will lose consciousness only after one punch.
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Highly likely "no". Why I think so? Well, it's because there are some harsher problems in other schools (like, you know, those northern ones or the one in Hongkong) where you're getting more problems and even fights... and when they graduate most of them are without any depression. I think it's individual.
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Maybe so, but only 1 or 2 percents. Don't think it's the culprit. And I do think that your teachers were a bit crazy. Of course, there are also these crazy students sometimes... it's complicated.
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I love west education because it is really intended to cultivate students' thoughts, bodies, knowledges, personalities, etc.
Here I definitely don't agree xD but yes, we treat students pretty equally in the west and that's good. If you want to learn something you can and you're not punished for being worse than others. The problem is school often is like anarcho-capitalism, rules doesn't apply to kids and violence determines your position. And if you don't keep showing your violence you become victim, kids understand only fear and violence, or if you take something from them. Schools don't care about pathology, they sweep it under the carpet and often blame victim when he/she report bullying. Situation in pretty all "west" countries is similar, the further from west Europe the worse.
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I do agree with you. You see, we, in China, often have got too idealistic impressions and ideas about the so-called Western education. I am not saying the Chinese is perfect. Ohhh, not at all, but I am seeing people like our "colleague" here who had too idealistic ideas about the Western education.
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I love west education because it is really intended to cultivate students' thoughts, bodies, knowledges, personalities, etc.
Here I definitely don't agree xD but yes, we treat students pretty equally in the west and that's good. If you want to learn something you can and you're not punished for being worse than others. The problem is school often is like anarcho-capitalism, rules doesn't apply to kids and violence determines your position. And if you don't keep showing your violence you become victim, kids understand only fear and violence, or if you take something from them. Schools don't care about pathology, they sweep it under the carpet and often blame victim when he/she report bullying. Situation in pretty all "west" countries is similar, the further from west Europe the worse.
I was educated in the West (during the socialist period and during the capitalist period). I also was a teacher in China. About the bodies -- I want to say that in China it's better. About the thoughts -- well, the West gives more freedom and pluralism. About the knowledge -- here it's very subjective (if you're a good student, you'll be good in China or in the West; it's up to you how well you follow the teacher and how well you are learning after school). About the personalities -- I don't think the education has to do something with this.
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I love west education because it is really intended to cultivate students' thoughts, bodies, knowledges, personalities, etc.
Here I definitely don't agree xD but yes, we treat students pretty equally in the west and that's good. If you want to learn something you can and you're not punished for being worse than others. The problem is school often is like anarcho-capitalism, rules doesn't apply to kids and violence determines your position. And if you don't keep showing your violence you become victim, kids understand only fear and violence, or if you take something from them. Schools don't care about pathology, they sweep it under the carpet and often blame victim when he/she report bullying. Situation in pretty all "west" countries is similar, the further from west Europe the worse.
I was educated in the West (during the socialist period and during the capitalist period). I also was a teacher in China. About the bodies -- I want to say that in China it's better. About the thoughts -- well, the West gives more freedom and pluralism. About the knowledge -- here it's very subjective (if you're a good student, you'll be good in China or in the West; it's up to you how well you follow the teacher and how well you are learning after school),. About the personalities -- I don't think the education has to do something with this.
I think there are also different methodologies of education across the western countries. I achieved some good comments about the western education, indicating there are more freedoms in the westerners' childhoods, there are no concrete competitive spirits, children's talents can be preserved well, etc..
I think the countries like Canada Finland excel at education because they know how to balance between 'indulgement' and 'regimentation'.
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The problem is that in many Western societies the aggression levels are higher (bullies are more)... when it's coming to talk about the culprits.
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coach colloborated two other girls to pour the pool water onto my face, calling me 'a lame hydrophobia boy'.
:D Epic!😂😂
See, the coach was like doing his best to help you to become a stronger man and he used girls to motvate you about that even girls can swim and if you don't man up in the future they won't like you. If that, at that time, could make you see the way of becoming a stronger mentally, physically and so on, then you woldn't be an incel years later.
Just imaine, if you was a swimmer how well your body would be devloped by now.
Let us hope that it is still not too late for you to reduce your fat cells, to get back your prevous good loking face, to build at least 45% make type body, gettng rid of all those estrogen traits that makes you look half woman and half kid, and then, with your capitals of you improve your behavor too, there will be women for you.