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A forum for incels who are normal people (no terrorists, no rapists, no racists, no pedophiles, no haters and so on) / Love Vs. Respect
« on: January 02, 2025, 02:06:45 PM »About the love and the respect
"Right. But being loveless affects your respect, self-respect and your whole love."
In respond to Lola's: "
If you want to be respected, you must first respect yourself. If you want to be appreciated, you must first appreciate yourself.If you want to be accepted, you must first accept yourself. Everything starts from you, and you begin from within.
Being Loved vs. Being RespectedBeing loved is subjective affection, arising from personal feelings and preferences. Respect, on the other hand, is rooted in inherent value and qualities, reflecting who you are on an objective level. For instance, bravery is a quality that is universally respected.
In essence, respect gives you a profound sense of fulfillment, while love often brings temporary, or even shallow satisfaction. Respect is about admiring a spirit, whereas love is about feeling an emotion. While love can deepen with respect and admiration, love without respect is fragile and transient. Admittedly, the proper mixture of both is the highest state, however, in reality, when it comes to choosing in between, respect is what you must strive for.
My adorable people, Let’s take these 3 steps to encounter Self-Respect.
1, Self-Observing You are not your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings, your impulses, your appetites, your desires, or your sensations. Instead, you are the observer of yourself., watching from above, as though you are a CCTV camera.
Observe what you think, what you say, and what you do, without judgement. You can either practice formal medication or simply begin to observe yourself in the present moment. For me, I’ve never meditated, but I have formed a habit of literally paying attention to my way of thinking and acting from moment to moment. Becoming the observer of myself has been life-changing. It has completely shifted the way view myself and the world to a more objective and authentic perspective.
I am within and without,
participating and spectating,
involved and detached,
engaged and distanced,
close and away,
a continuous, dynamic, ultimate dance in the duality of existence.
2, Self-Understanding
You can start reading, asking questions, journaling, practicing, and repeating. When you read others’ stories, you begin to understand yourself, because we are interconnected in a mysterious level. The more you understand yourself, the more you will understand others. By extension, you will naturally foster compassion towards others. You, the people around you, nature, and the universe are all in a perfect alignment.
Additionally, understanding yourself is deeply tied to moral virtue. When you know how to treat yourself right, you will naturally know how to treat others right. You don’t just want to be morally good, yet, you endeavor to constantly bring goodness to yourself and everyone you can reach.
“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” The truth is, these two are united as one, understanding others starts from knowing yourself and understanding yourself.
3, Self- Accepting and Self-Challenging
Don’t you want to become better at something and evolve as an individual? Anything you aspire to improve, please ask yourself why, specifically, ask:
Is this thing good for me?
Is it good for others?
Is it good for now?
Is it good for future?
These four measurements provide clarity and purpose. For example, considering going to the gym. Exercising is beneficial for your health, inspiring for others, empowering in the moment, and contributing to long term wellbeing.
Accepting who you are goes hand in hand with challenging who you can become. Personally, if I am not pushing myself enough, I can’t accept myself. One of the most beautiful aspects of being human is our ability to intentionally and consciously improve. We are potential works of art, waiting to be created and crafted. Life is a continuous journey of learning, exploring, experiencing, and creating.
“Being and Becoming” refers to living as the most authentic self while striving to become your most fulfilling self. To “Be yourself” is to embrace your true essence and evolving into the best version of you.
In summary, you build values, principles, and standards by observing, understanding, accepting, and challenging yourself. When you establish un unshakable inner self, the whole world will consequently acknowledge, appreciate, and respect you.
Always remember: everything starts from you and goes back to you. So take a moment today, whether walking in nature or sitting in stillness, to connect with your inner self. In doing so, you will find that the respect you seek from the the radiates from within.
Thank you for reading my thoughts:) "
☺️ 👍 